The sixth episode of Season 1 of Clearwater. 

This Is How I Disappear (1)
Season 1, Episode 6
Vital statistics
Air date March 3, 2013
Episode guide
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Keep Holding On This Is How I Disappear (2)


Scott's new feelings drive him to join his school's LGBT club, but could he really like guys? And will his parents keep him from finding that out? Meanwhile, Blake and Eliza are having relationship issues when she can't deal with his double standards. Will he get past his ego and listen to her? Also, Julia and Jeremy get better aquainted, but she can't help but feel guilty for taking Jamie's crush. 

Main PlotEdit

Scott notices his weird feelings for guys and decides to visit his school's LGBT group for help, but not everyone is going to give him an easy time. Will there be too many barriers for him to find out his true self?

Sub PlotEdit

Blake asks Eliza to stop her cutting for him, but won't stop drinking or smoking in return which upsets Eliza. Eliza wants Blake to realize his double standard, but will this cost them their relationship?

Third PlotEdit

Julia decides to make a move on Jeremy despite Jamie's feelings for him. Julia is out to play dirty and is ready to make a big move to show Jeremy that she's the girl for him.

  • This episode is named after the song "This Is How I Disappear" by My Chemical Romance.
  • This is the first two-part episode of the entire series.
  • Julia and Jeremy have sex.

  • More continuity errors appear in this episode, as during the Pride meeting, Alicia and Moon both state they are bisexual, although this was never mentioned by them again, so it could be possible they were just confused at the time.
  • Jamie says she is confused about her sexuality, but she never mentions this again.
  • Julia mentions that her parents are both lawyers when Jeremy is shocked at how big her house is. In the second season, her and her mother are living in a small apartment after her father left, so this must have happened after this episode off-screen.

Regular Cast

Supporting Cast


  • Brittany: "Congratulations, you're not straight!"
  • Olivia: "Congratulations, you're gay!"
  • Jeremy: "Every time we kiss, I feel the atoms around us heat up."
  • Julia: "The closer we get...the closer we remain...forever."